


A Lifetime

by salamder



Category: Murdoch Mysteries
Genre: Forbidden Love, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Light Angst, M/M, One Shot, Period Typical Attitudes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-28
Updated: 2019-11-28
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:40:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21592426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/salamder/pseuds/salamder
Summary: Henry is engaged to Ruth, but he and George need to talk.
Relationships: George Crabtree/Henry Higgins
Comments: 6
Kudos: 29





	A Lifetime

Henry exited the pub with a few last congratulatory smacks on his back. After receiving the news of his recent engagement, the rest of the men at the station decided it an occasion fit for celebration over a few pints. He should have been thrilled to have all the attention on him, to have toasts in his name, to be marrying the woman he loved the most. But he couldn't bring himself to. 

Minutes after stepping outside, George followed. The two men stood on the dark street and looked at each other, a pit of sorrow and grief clawing at their insides. "I need to talk to you," George spoke first, his accent clearer than the sun in the quiet dead-of-night. Henry nodded and wordlessly began to follow his friend. The sounds of the party slowly drowned out behind them the further they walked, and it didn't take long for Henry to realize they were heading towards George's boarding house. 

"I suspect you've left the window open," Henry joked, knowing there was no way George could just strut in with a lady this late at night, nevermind a man. 

This roused a smile from him. "Yeah. I always do." 

It was an invitation, Henry knew, but just like George, he knew it would be one that is never accepted.

When they arrived they both climbed in, making sure not to cause too much noise and awaken the other residents. Henry didn't know what he was expecting- he had been in this room plenty of times before, and it looked the same as ever. Messy, but in an organized way. Yet, for some reason, he thought it would be different.

They took a seat at a small wooden table in the corner of the room. George, keeping his eyes averted from Henry's, and Henry's hands clasped in his lap. Both were anxious. They knew, yet didn't know at all what was coming next, and it scared the absolute hell out of them.

Finally, George took a deep breath and spoke. "Do you... do you think marrying Ruth is a good idea?" 

Henry grimaced at the question. "Why do you ask, George?"

"It all seems a bit rushed to me... I don't want you committing to something that you aren't fully sure about."

"I know you don't think very highly of my intelligence, but I can determine what's right for me, thank you." Henry chewed the inside of his cheek. He was becoming frustrated. There were too many feelings in his gut and mind that he couldn't decipher properly anymore, and George interfering was doing little to help. He wanted to go back to the days where he knew exactly what he wanted and everything was clear. Now, every thought and decision that came to his mind was cloaked by some sort of mist that made him question and doubt every aspect of his life. 

George shook his head. "I don't think you're stupid, and you know that. I just... Henry, I don't want you to get hurt." 

"I don't understand, why would marrying Ruth hurt me?" He looked back at George, whose expression was twisted with worry. 

"You're moving fast. You can't tell properly if you love each other, and if you don't then you'll both miss your chance at being happy." 

Henry let out a pathetic laugh. "Of course I love her, George. I..." He paused, considering his words. "She makes me happy." 

George turned away, settling his gaze on the wall to his left. Henry watched him, wondering if this was about what he thought it was. A part of him always suspected, always knew, always hoped... It was the one reason why he couldn't bring himself to share the joy the rest of his friends had. "Is there a reason you're asking me this, George?" He asked, lowering his voice. 

George glanced back at him, his eyes visibly glazed. "I'm in love, you know." He whispered, gulping to get rid of the suffocating feeling in his throat. 

"And you can't tell me?" Henry guessed, earning a nod. He looked down at his hands, something in his chest twisting painfully. "Is it because you're embarrassed, or because you don't trust me?"

"Neither," George whispered. 

Henry contemplated this for a long while. The silence pierced them like a knife, but neither wanted to say something that could ruin what was being built. "George, you want me to be happy. Ruth makes me happy, she really does... but there's someone that makes me happier. The problem is that no matter how happy they make me," he paused, wiping at his eyes which were beginning to water. "I can never be with them the same as I can be with Ruth." He drew a shaky breath and forced a smile. "I suppose that's the same with you, huh?"

A sob escaped George then, who moved his hands to cover his face. This pushed Henry over the edge, who stopped holding his tears back. Their sounds of sadness the only thing penetrating the silence of the night. "Maybe we could have just one night with them. A single night before we're herded down the paths we have to take?" Henry couldn't help himself. He'd never been a crier, but here, now, and with George crying across from him - he couldn't contain it any longer. He could barely see him through his own blurry vision. "It's not very fair, is it?" He murmured. "That we were made to love someone who we'll never be allowed to be with?"

George peeled his hands from his face, exposing red eyes and wet cheeks. His lip quivered as he spoke, "P-perhaps, in another lifetime... We'll have a full lifetime to spend with them. So, if one night is... Is all we get..."

"...Then let's make it last a lifetime?" Henry finished. George nodded, and before another second could pass he leaned over the table and kissed him. Both had wanted to do this for so long, though neither could have properly put it into words. The kiss was sweet but forceful - both men scared that if either were to pull away, they would discover the night to already be over. It filled them both with a happiness they never knew could be achieved, even if it was through tears and the impending heartbreak that awaited them at dawn.

When the sun did finally rise, the rays captured them in an embrace. George had his head against his chest, and Henry ran his fingers through his hair. Before pulling away Henry kissed the top of his head, whispered "goodbye", then climbed out the window and headed home. 

Though both men would dream of that night hundreds of times, neither would speak or act on it again. There were times they came close, but fearing the world they were up against, restrained themselves. They would continue their lives as before, with George attending Henry's wedding as the best man. All that kept them going was the chance at another lifetime where they could finally love each other freely, and so they waited for it.

**Author's Note:**

> my writing is very rusty and I wrote this at 3am, so I hope it's decent


End file.
